Some of today’s pop hits and their meaning

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Talking to myself..

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Buy Valium Dublin “I’m scared of the good more than the evil Buy Alprazolam Bulk Scared of the light more than the dark Scared of the truth so much more than the lie I’m scared for you
I’m scared of you
Scared of beautiful”

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“Lightning strikes…maybe once..maybe twice”

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I’m a world of chaos, a moody mess, a restless heart with a gypsy soul. I’m a social chameleon, but not in the manipulative sense most people associate that term with. I was just born with this intuitive gift to see the emotional needs in others and an innate nature to want to meet those needs. I know how to love others in the language they feel it best. Some need words of affirmation, some affection from physical touch, others gifts or quality time. Every single relationship I have had, have or will have, are all uniquely different. I’ve never loved any two people the same and yet none can say they’ve known me completely. I don’t believe anyone ever can really know someone entirely, but sometimes you can get really close. This is where my “chameleon like” nature has come in. In meeting whatever that need or desire is for each individual, I find that I am often completely disregarding my own emotions. Its true, I do tend to fall into whoever I am with at any given moment. It’s not that I am being fake. I’m trying to love you the best way I know how, with the parts of me that best accommodate you.

I feel sadness most of the time but I laugh a lot. People find me confident, when in reality I’m super insecure. I’m dubbed the “social butterfly” or “life of the party” but being honest I’d much rather be alone left to my own thoughts. I like being with people, especially those I love and adore but being honest, I have to admit it’s rather draining. I feel like I have to be “on” most of the time while in the company of others. It’s something I’ve struggled with and done for years. It’s exhausted me mentally, emotionally and physically. I can’t keep up the facade I’ve had most of my life anymore. My cracks have now been shown and unwanted breakdowns have ensued. I hate that I cant hide or control it. I feel violated and exposed. It’s painful and I hate being an overly sensitive being, in a super insensitive world. I tear up easily, but rarely can I ever truly cry. I feel emotionally paralyzed and am only left to wonder at what point I’ll finally break. For when the tears finally begin to flow I cannot stop them. I don’t cry, I weep and it seeps out of every muscle, organ, and pore in my body. My spirit breaks and my soul is released during those moments of grief and mourning. I am out of my body yet bound by the pain of it. It is a small death I experience. I loathe it so much but it is the exact release I know I currently need. It is the relief I feel my being is waiting for and being drawn to. It’ll only take some moment of weakness, it might be a song, a situation, or a run in with a familiar stranger. It might be the news of a death or the birth of a new life. I don’t know what it’s going to take but I intend to find it instead of running from it like i normally do. I want to embrace new happiness and I know it will only come with the release of past pain. I will have to face what I fear most, the one thing I’ve avoided most of my life in sharing and that is my vulnerability..

Buy Diazepam 5Mg Uk It’s different this time. I’m not giving into the former feelings I usually did before. I’ve cut ties and come out of my denial. I’m seeing the reality of people’s actions instead of the “potential good” someone may have. I’m “seeing things as they are, not as I would have them.” It is painful for a “people pleaser” like myself to do, but I’m doing it, putting one foot in front of the other, determined to heal this wound in its entirety. I’m cleaning out all of the skeletons in my closet and as painful as it is, I can see how it is slowly but surely changing me. I’m going through my valley, my fire, my metamorphis, knowing I’m going to come out a new woman. At heart I will always be that nomadic, restless gypsy filled with wanderlust in her eyes. But maybe in my rediscovery of self, I just might find a reason to finally want to stay.