Even death couldn’t separate us

Today our brother would’ve turned 31. We can only imagine how different life would’ve been growing up with him around. Heaven couldn’t wait for him and even in death, the chain will never be broken. Gabriel, you will always live on vicariously through us. I love you. XoXo

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Dymalski’s Death Anniversary

Another year without her. Life just isn’t fair. People who have never known loss don’t understand that death is not something you get over, death is something you learn to accept. The pain has never once lessened, I just have had to overcompensate and become stronger to be able tho cope with it. It’s been a rough journey but it has molded me into a better more appreciative person. I hope I still make her proud and happy. I hope she misses me the same way I miss her. It’ll always feel surreal to say that my best friend died suddenly and unexpectedly 9 years ago on this date. I truthfully never thought I’d make it thru life, let alone the rest of that day she died, without her warm embrace and laughter. In a strange way I think she was subconsciously preparing me all along for some unknown looming certainty that she felt was inevitable. She always knew better and did what was best for me. She is my soulmate, best friend and the big sister I never had. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t give to just get a call from her and hear her say, “I’m here now and I love you, V.”

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“When someone said count your blessings now
‘fore they’re long gone
I guess I just didn’t know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew”

Dandelions, Sunflowers and Daisies

I love how beautiful flowers look but I can’t stand the way they smell. Their fragrance makes me nauseous and takes me back to moments I wish I could erase from my memory. As much as I love receiving them, I despise them just the same. Every single time I’ve lost a piece of my heart, the world in turn has given me bouquets of flowers to cling to. Each time I had to bury another part of myself, all I was left with were fragile petals that eventually would fade away. As captivating as such blossoms like dandelions can be, I would be more than willing to go without ever seeing another rose bud as long as I live, if it meant that I could have everyone I’ve ever lost to the grave back again. Tell me, what good does it do me to have a field of endless sunflowers and daisies, when I have no one left to enjoy them with me?