Generous? What have you done that’s generous?
*Everything*! Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for *you*! http://wherewaterfalls.com/category/half-moon-bay/page/4/ I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn’t that generous?
Coldplay has consistently been my go to music for long commutes, road trips and late night cruises. I’ve cried oceans of tears to this track alone over the years because it echoes my own heartfelt sentiments. Whenever I want to evoke deep emotions over the present, future or past, I play “sparks” and allow myself to come undone.
I find myself making excuses to get away on late nights like these to take that long drive down Pecos road and let the tears fall. Alone, I make my way thru the dark searching for clarity and resolutions. I guess I mostly prefer this dark route because of the barely there street lights. The darkness makes it easy to hide all my sadness. Millions of bright stars light up the night sky the further I continue to venture out. Sometimes I find myself lost in daydreams of the past or get caught up in fantasizes of the future. Either way, I’m always tempted to run away to places where no one knows me at all.
The mystery of the unexplored road always has me wondering if there is something or someone still out there searching for me or waiting to be found. The wanderlust within me grows the further and further away i get from the city, closer to the base of the mountains. The need to escape seems overwhelmingly strong on nights like tonight. Like many of the male disappointments in my life, the disarming road comes abruptly to a dead end, leaving me abandoned in utter darkness and despair.
The knowledge of this should probably stop me from continuing to take this gloomy drive, but I’ve come to see that it’s probably the best metaphor for how I view love and relationships in life. Understanding that all circumstances are temporary and that we are all dispensable, gives me the courage to fall in love wholeheartedly with every single soul and moment God sends my way.
The last time I took my drive down Pecos I saw the beginnings of construction taking place to expand the freeway. The realization of losing this space made me feel a profound ache in my heart, but I understand change and growth are just another part of being alive. One day I know my special place will become filled with the hustle and bustle of city life and the road that hid my tears with darkness will be lit up by endless freeway lights. I know the way this road used to make me feel will soon be a memory of the past. I know I’ll take this drive when all is said and done and reminisce on the nights I found sanctuary driving down these barren streets. I’ll play this song and feel the bittersweet sting of closure, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt..
I saw sparks.
I’ve been loved passionately, obsessively, lustfully, recklessly and intensely. I’ve been loved in the light and in the dark, worshipped and adored, but I have yet to find a love equal to or more powerful than my own. I’ve know I’ve had temporary homes where I’ve allowed my heart to rest awhile and hide away, but never a place I’ve been able to unpack every hurt and stay forever.
I’ve learned that there are beautiful gardens inside all of us that are constantly trickling through different seasons of life. Each garden is being cultivated and tended to through phases of sporadic growth as well. In some lives I’ve planted beautiful seeds and pulled weeds, some I carelessly and recklessly stomped through. Some I neglected watering, while others I gave nothing but sunlight and nourishment to. Gardens are beautiful places to witness, but one must never forget the many jagged rocks, unseen parasites, deadly chemicals and sharp thorns that can still exists among them. I learned that lesson the hard way.
For the most part my garden has kept trespassers away while others have walked by, peered in and attempted to enter its ironclad gates. I learned through disappointments, trials and pain that people enter our lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime. I understand now that the secrets to my garden can only be revealed to the person that holds its most coveted key.
I’ve had many romantic relationships over the years, but none that were able to keep my heart or attention consistently for long. I’m well aware of the trap doors within my mind, repressed emotions buried deep, and hidden stairways that lead to places in my heart that no one knows about. No matter who the person is, was, or how close the relationship came to be, there was always a wedge driven in between us that made it impossible for me to ever fully commit.
I’ve shared so much and given to others with no real intent of ever getting anything back. I have loved from the fiery pits of my soul and those burnt by its flames have felt its residual effects. It’s forced me to question if autonomy is what I ultimately prefer. Maybe someday I’ll change that, but for now, I’ll continue to pass the time enjoying my stay in these temporary homes, keeping the secrets to my garden locked away.
http://kokannews.org/?p=1462 “A relationship without trust is like a phone without service. And what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games.”
Order Diazepam Europe “My castle crumbled overnight
Cheap Valium Buy I brought a knife to a gunfight
http://bethhamiltonphoto.com/apple-touch-icon.png They took the crown but it’s alright
Buy Xanax Romania All the liars are calling me one
http://drumcommodities.com/locations/bahrain Nobody’s heard from me in months
http://linenbeauty.com/2013/02/linen-fabric-types/ I’m doing better than I ever was”
27-year-old Taylor Swift, debuted the track — the fourth single from her upcoming sixth album, Reputation – at midnight on Friday, garnering an overwhelmingly positive reaction from her fans. Another feel good song anyone can relate to.
He follows the scent of my perfume and the ringing of my laughter to find me in the crowd that engulf us. He wraps his arms around me and whispers
the words he can’t speak out loud. I tell myself to disregard him but he’s ever present, lingering in the shadows with his protective eyes fixated on me. He presses in closer and I’m forced to take a step back because his intensity is so overwhelming. He isn’t intimated or scared of rejection and his fearlessness tells me everything I need to know; he’s not going anywhere.
He finds any reason to touch me and pull me away from everyone else and then does it. He acts unphased by the rest but it’s obvious that his jealousy rises whenever another man attempts to take my attention away. Another possessive lover unwilling to compromise his methods in deterring any other possible forms of competition. He is no different in his actions or words but his familiarity is something I find endearing and comforting. Too far gone and too deep in to stop the inevitable that he’s all too willing to subject himself to. So he continues to watch my every movement and counteracts every attempt I make to pull away. I’m the quiet observer acting aloof for the sake of peace buying time while I figure him out. Cat and mouse, predator and prey but the watcher still hasn’t figured out he’s the one being watched.
Kings of Leon covers Selena Gomez's hit "Cant keep my hands to myself" and it's amazing! It has this dark and incredibly sexy vibe to it. I think I prefer this one over the original. This one was obviously my favorite but the rest of the covers below were great as well. These artists have natural talents that speak for themselves.
Order Diazepam India “Got a boy back home in Michigan
http://kurtlancaster.com/01/11/2010/input-source-must-be-the-same-says-travis-fox-when-using-pluraleyes/travis_fox_frankenstein_camera/embed And it tastes like Jack when I’m kissing him..”
I remember your whiskey kisses, your eager hands and cat like green eyes. You loved having my scent all over you throughout the day, wearing the same shirts to work that I’d worn the night before. You bought my favorite shampoo and body wash as a means of convincing me to stay those late nights and it worked on a few random occasions. I liked the way your Armani cologne lingered on my skin and how even up until today whenever I smell it, I can still feel the stubble of your 5 o clock shadow nestling its way into the softness of my neck. You were never a man of many words and I was never one for lengthy explanations so I guess the way it ended was inevitable. Months later I’d receive numerous drunk phone texts and voicemails from you apologizing for leaving so much left unsaid between us. You told me that you went to my secret place in the desert where I once took you. You played my beloved, Stevie Nicks the entire drive and reminisced over the conversations we shared beneath the stars those summer nights. You said you tried recreating those moments on your own, but somehow the stars just didn’t seem to burn as bright after I’d left. Days became weeks and weeks turned into months before you’d set out to find me again and by that time it was too late, the once open doorway to my heart was now locked shut. Time brought you clarity while it permitted me the space to move on. I can’t deny that even after all this time I sometimes find myself looking up at the stars they way we used to, questioning where you are, if you’re happy and wondering who now lays on my side of the bed. I still miss those whiskey kisses and can’t deny that yours are still the sweetest lips I’ve ever tasted.
http://thesoussegroup.com/3000-the-plaza/properties-sold/ http://kokannews.org/?page_id=876 “There’s a guy that lives in a garden state
And he told me that we make it ’til we graduate
So I told him the music would be worth the wait
But he wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate..”
I grew up with you and you knew me throughout all my awkward stages. You were the first guy to tell me you loved me. Back then I was way too young to realize what that meant, but more specifically what that meant being loved by someone like you. I’m sorry your intensity and passion scared me, I understand now what I couldn’t then. I admit I lost track of time and my purpose, but you wanted a commitment right when I was trying to focus all my energy into the music and finding my own way. I couldn’t give you what you needed. I couldn’t be the girl you first fell in love with. I didn’t want to be your muse, I wanted to find one of my very own that I could sing for and write about. I was honest with you about my feelings but you refused to accept them. Looking back now, I see that even though it wasn’t the same, I loved you in my own special way and I know you felt that. It’s probably what gave you hope and made you stay for so long. You will always be the guy that makes my heart skip a beat and the face I’ll look for in any crowd, because you found me long before I ever found myself. I know you wanted to be selfish with me at a time that I wanted the world. Ironically, only three years later I’d fall helplessly in love with him. It wasn’t long before he’d discover all the love letters you’d written and later guilt me into throwing away. I’ll be honest and say, I cried many nights over you and for you. You deserved so much more even though I don’t think you ever found it. I was told years later that you’d found out about my elopement through mutual friends. I still blame myself for not going to you that night and I regret never saying goodbye when I had the chance. No one ever had to tell me directly, but I know I am the reason you continue to stay away.
http://wherewaterfalls.com/category/activities/feed/ “I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe
That we’re meant to be
But jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy
Get the best of me
Look, I don’t mean to frustrate, but I
Always make the same mistakes, yeah I
Always make the same mistakes ’cause
I’m bad at love
But you can’t blame me for tryin’
You know I’d be lyin’ sayin’
You were the one
That could finally fix me
Lookin’ at my history
I’m bad at love”
My once upon a time. My first love. My only everything. My memory of you will always be in love with the innocence of who I was. Loving you made me into the woman I am and since you, I haven’t felt anything close to the magnitude of passion or attraction I had with and for you. I was so in love with you, obsessed with you, fixated and devoted only to you for over 12 years. All the men since you have remained in your shadow, never able to wash out your memory or your mark. I’ll always remember our passion filled nights that turned into early mornings. I was addicted to your touch, your intensity and intricate mind. I was the magnet and you were steel. And being honest, I don’t think I’ll ever feel again anything close to what I felt for you. Getting over others has been made easy, because losing you taught me that I have the love and strength within myself to overcome anything. I know I can and I will love again one day, but it’ll be in different ways. I’ve stopped trying to change the facts of our history and I’ve quit denying the importance your existence had in my life for so long. I found myself in the storm and my rainbow in my healing. I’m comforted to know you’ve found happiness again and I’ve made peace with the past; a past that has made clear her victory…by default.
http://aquobex.com/news/news/2014-01-31-how-do-you-stop-flooding Buy Clonazepam Fast Delivery “Got a girl with California eyes
And I thought that she could really be the one this time
But I never got the chance to make her mine
Because she fell in love with little thin white lines”
Familiar, dark and wild were the aspects of our personalities that drew us into one another. I met you at a very difficult time in my life, while yours was in transition as well. It all feels like a blur now in comparison to how we first began. From complete sobriety to drunken nights, dabbling in the substances we promised we would never touch again, to setting men’s hearts on fire to distract us from our own pain. We became a force of nature, destroying anything in our path. Your love became possessive while mine remained detached and carefree. We lived in different extremes in those two years, but now times have changed. You do more damage than good these days, but in your own twisted way you still try to show me you care. I’ll always care even it’s from a distance. It’s just in my nature and you’ll do what’s in your nature and self destruct. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss the girl you used to be or the version of you I once loved.
Buy Zolpidem From Uk Buy Ambien Online Next Day Delivery “London girl with an attitude
We never told no one but we look so cute
Both got way better things to do
But I always think about it when I’m riding through
I met you at a party and clicked with you right away. It felt natural to go along with your advances but I didn’t realize you were playing for keeps. You pursued me harder than any man had, and I know you felt betrayed when I couldn’t reciprocate the same emotions. You showed me how to accept people for what they are and not try to rationalize why they do or don’t do things. You told me about all your tattoos and confessed your darkest secrets to me because you said I made you feel safe. I still laugh when I remember how you told me that I needed a woman’s love, because no man would ever be enough. Truth is, the only love and acceptance I ever needed was my own.
Order Valium Online Cheap Australia each time the feelings fades
It’s crazy how just one song can take me back in time to a certain person or place in my past. I don’t regret anyone of you. You helped mold me into the woman I am. Keep the pieces of me I gave you, and I’ll forever stow away the love and memories you gave me.
“You know I’m bad at love, but you can’t blame me for trying.”
My emotions tend to come out in riddles or in misshapen puzzle pieces. They never seem to fit just right, similar to how you and I are these days. Often I find myself forcing the words, the same way I feel I have to force you. In vain, I mourn the loss of dreamy escapism, while cursing the blindness of love with the same lips I once kissed you with.
I feel regret as the night begins to spill into morning. I realize I am right back where I started, just older and in a different place, but still stuck in the same cycle of loving the same kind of man hiding behind a different face. I’ve let the poison from your venom runs its course. I’ll bare the pain in silence as my final act of love as you cower in silence forever. Friends to lovers. Strangers to nothing. Love to indifference.