http://valliscommodities.com/fr/agriculture/ble/feed/ “She had called me a coward for what I’d done and I knew she was right. That’s why her apology later made me feel worse. She wouldn’t acknowledge me or even look at me after that. I knew I wasn’t forgiven. It’s like I wasn’t even important enough to hold a grudge against. She was now out of my life, or more accurately, I was out of hers.”
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http://linenbeauty.com/tag/linen-pants On August 28th 2007, the world lost an amazing soul, and heaven gained a new angel. Below is the eulogy I wrote to honor my late best friend, Michelle Dymalski.
In the days that followed her death, I was privileged enough to share these words at her funeral service. I can still feel the pain I felt standing in front of that crowd of few hundred people, completely vulnerable and exposed, locked knees and tear filled eyes, determined to share my love for one of the greatest people I’ve ever known. Death may have separated us a decade ago, but the love that binds us has never been severed. Some bonds just can’t be broken.
It’s hard to sum up Michelle into one letter, to define her with mere words, and express the love I have for her with this small token of affection. It’s hard to explain the friendship we shared that was so utterly unique, special and unlike any friendship I had, or ever will have again.
Michelle was my best friend. I met her my junior year of high school in Mr. Herbert’s choir class. There we shared a deep love of music, and the way that it moved us. She was the first person I had ever met that I had, what our friend Kristen would say, “friend lust” for. Just basically meant that she was someone I observed and was intrigued by because of the kind of person she was, and I wanted to be her friend. It was just something about her. Besides being gorgeous beyond words, she was sweet and tender hearted. She never judged others by their outer appearance, or by other shallow standards that most use, but by their heart. Strange didn’t exist in her world. Everyone was unique and wonderful. I guess she looked at others with God’s eyes; open and forgiving, full of promise and possibility. She had a glow and I was drawn to her like so many others. With just one conversation she became my best friend and my kindred spirit. Our humors were alike, our taste in music and fashion, but thankfully not boys. We were force to be reckoned with, and we relished in our youth. “Ying and Yang” she’d say, and we’d always argue who was which. She’s always referred to me as her “partner in crime.” I cannot tell you how many times we get ourselves into some kind of mess. Her approach was always light and innocent, while mine was aggressive and daring. If there was ever such a thing as friend soulmates, she was definitely mine; down to my every thought and word. Our memories span over six years and in those years she has left me with the best memories and inside jokes that will last a lifetime. She’d always say I was her sister and that even though her skin may not be brown, her heart was. I always got a kick out of her attempts to eat spicy food and speak Spanish. There were a few times her mix up on words got us into some crazy situations, but she found the key to happiness and it was laughter. Even in the midst of calamity and depression she could always laugh. Whether it was at a ditsy comment her or I made, or just laughing at the stupidity of some crazy person on the road, she found humor in everything. She lived her life with purpose and promise. She may have seemed tame to some, but she also had her wild streak. She loved to dance, be outdoors, and speed like a mad woman, pushing all limits. I laugh now thinking of all the times she should’ve been ticketed for going almost 65mph in a 45 mph speed zone. Her good looks and charm got her out of a few tickets, but that girl was lucky when it came to not getting caught.
We had our dorky moments too while making “music videos” in the car; which was basically us dancing like retards to some upbeat music blaring through her speakers, singing along in harmony, with the AC blowing high and the windows down low. I’m sure we scared many drivers numerous times while being in those moments, but in those instances no one else existed or mattered but us. It was our world, our time, our thing. One of the many things that we shared. We also cherished our quiet times with one another. She loved to take me with her when she drove to the lake past power road late at night, just to clear her head and think. We’d listen to Lifehouse or Coldplay, never saying a word, but finding true contentment in each others presence. We understood one another like that. Sometimes we needed to be let be, and just be, with one another.
Michelle was a very private person and I feel lucky to have had her open up her heart and thoughts to me. We always talked about how our friendship was intended to be since the beginning of time, how God in all his wisdom and mercy blessed us with one another. After all she did attend school with my (ex) husband, And was the connection to how I came to meet and fall in love with him. I will never forget that day when fate finally stepped in and came together. I was 17, and she was 18 and we were with two of our other girlfriends shopping at the mall when all of a sudden our destinies seemed to intertwine.
I can still hear her voice saying, “whatever you do, don’t look over there, some ghetto guys are checking you out.” And just as she had many times before, she quickly jumped into defensive mode, blocking their view of me. She glanced over once more only to realize that the “ghetto boy” was a former classmate of hers from junior high. The rest is history, but she was there for me from the beginning. She supported my feelings and thoughts even if she didn’t understand them all completely. She stood by my decision the night I decided to elope to Vegas. She was supposed to be our witness/maid of honor, but unfortunately her parents caught us before she walked out the front door. Out of fear that she might do the same, they wouldn’t let her go. But she did insist on packing me a bag of goodies. She said she put all the “necessities” in there. On the way to Vegas I checked the bag, inside the majority of the necessities consisted of make up, face wash, hair products, lotion, perfume and a blow dryer. I should’ve known, but I used it all and left up with the clothes on my back, some pajamas she had given me, along with her unconditional support. Her approval encouraged me to follow my heart, for that I will be forever grateful.
Michelle later got her title as maid of honor at my church wedding a month later, and recently I was blessed to hold that title in hers. I felt honored to stand by her side just as she had done for me all along.
Michelle, was the answer to my prayers so long ago as a child. I can’t tell you how many times I saw sisters at school or in a park and wished with all my heart to have a big sister of my own. I was so jealous of the bond that they shared, but being the oldest of six, I never got to have someone to imitate or look up to, that was until I met her. She was blood to me. She protected and defended me, and held my hand when I was scared to go it alone. She encouraged me to pursue my dreams and gave me the big sister advice that I always longed for. There’s so many memories I have of her speaking up for me and shielding me with her love. Her reaction in the mall that day is a testament to that. She frequently looked out for me and kept me out of harms way. She was and will always be the person I admired and envied so much.
I have many fond memories of her, but one of my favorites was the night before she ascended into Paradise. She spent it with her closest girlfriends, dancing and laughing the night away. Her last night on earth was spent feeling carefree and happy, the happiest I’d seen her since Ryan’s passing. She looked so beautiful and radiant that I actually told her she glowed. I think anyone who knew her was drawn to her beauty, but was enraptured by her sweet charm. She had no enemies and she delighted in her youth and blessed life. All night she kept telling me how much she loved me, as we held hands to protect each other, and to keep all the weirdos away. She said we had to go out again soon because she had so much fun and missed spending time with all our friends. I promised her we would, and we made plans for this past Saturday, after my sons birthday party. That would’ve been yesterday. After her wake I had to go through with the party I had scheduled for my son’s third birthday, not because I wanted to, but because she wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was hard to celebrate his life while mourning her loss. She promised me she would be there, and that she wouldn’t miss it for the world, but sadly that is the one promise she ever made to me, that she couldn’t keep.
I keep thinking of the lyrics to one of our favorite songs, “The scientist” by Coldplay, We played that song over and over for the longest time. The words seem so much more special to me, hearing them now in my mind. “Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry, you don’t know how lovely you are. I had to find you tell you I need you, tell you that I set you apart. Tell me your secrets, nurse me your questions, oh let’s go back to the start. Running in circles, coming in tales, heads on a science apart. Nobody said it was easy, oh it’s such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said that it would be this hard. Please, take me back to the start.” Later in the song he sings, “tell me you love me, come back to haunt me,” and I just can’t seem to let her go. How those words are what my heart is saying to her now. How I wish that I could be selfish and have her back again, but I know this was her destiny and somehow God’s will.
In the past few months Michelle grew closer to Christ, her relationship and walk with him was the strongest it has ever been. Instead of blaming God for taking Ryan, she thanked him for the time she did share with him. She was strong and courageous as she faced the greatest challenge of her life. She called me frequently just to clear her thoughts. We spoke many times about death, her wishes and Ryan. She loved that man with every inch of her being. She missed him so much that I truly believe she died of a broken heart. She asked me questions and asked my opinion, whether he had suffered, what he thought and felt, what he experienced as he passed through heavens gates, and if he remembered her. I did my best to give her scripture and encourage her. I told her I wasn’t God and that I wasn’t sure, but I know that our God is a God of mercy and grace, and not a dictator trying to ruin our lives. I reminded her that each trial and tribulation is a test of our character to see where our loyalty lies. And she passed that test many a times with flying colors. She stood by her faith, and made it the foundation of her life. I admired her ability to see the good in all of it, instead of the evident or worst. I told her my views and opinions on heaven. I also had dreams of it years earlier, and didn’t want to wake up. I’m sure that is what she felt, sheer beauty and peace, that she couldn’t bare to stay here on earth any longer. I’m sure God allowed Ryan to meet her there at the golden gates, and lead her into paradise. I know God answered her prayers. She finally got to be reunited with her husband, but her gain has become my greatest loss. The last conversation we had on the subject was almost a week ago, she told me that while she was visiting family in Alabama, she drove to Florida to stay at a family member’s condo for a bit. She said she ventured out to do some shopping and heard her and Ryan song from the wedding. She asked me, “do you think he’s trying to give me a sign, like he’s trying to speak to me and tell me he’s OK?” I said, “Yes, because I believe God can allow those things, since he knows they will bring us peace and comfort. He doesn’t leave us with nothing, because the soul really does live on forever.” She got choked up and have jokingly said, “well whichever one of us gets to heaven first, has to give the other a sign that they are OK.” I laughed and I told her I’d haunt her, but we made that promise to each other that day. Little did I know that my best friend would be meeting her creator a week later. She never broke a promise to me before, so I’ll wait patiently for her to send me a message. I will keep my eyes and ears open, until God permits us that moment.
Michelle always used to say, “everything always happens for a reason” I think I will spend my entire life wondering what that reason is and why she’s no longer with us; but I will press on with the faith that in time, I will come to know that answer. She truly believed that with everything within her.
Nothing is by chance, nothing, and we are not meaningless creatures walking aimlessly on this earth. We are all born with a purpose and a plan, but sometimes, we fulfill them sooner than others. She left us so young, so classic and beautiful. She will be immortalized in our memories that way as we grow older. She will never age but remain the beautiful 23-year-old woman we saw her grow and mature into. I know she learned how precious and fragile life is, and she really came to appreciate every bit of it in these last few months. She lived a life anyone of us would be proud of, the kind of life we should strive to live ourselves. Because of that, Michelle has become an even greater source of inspiration for me to live a God-fearing life. I have someone waiting for me and expecting me, and I will not let her down. Saying that I must say something to her amazing parents..
Dear Dymalski’s, your daughter was everything she was, because of you. Because you loved her and supported her, because you always had her back no matter what, because you were her world and you instilled good morals and strong faith and her at such a young age. You taught her to put God first and live life to the fullest. Rich, you were her rock and her hero. You were everything she ever wanted in a man, and she knew no matter what, her daddy was there, whenever for whatever to take care of her if she needed it. You were a great father to her, and she admired you in every way possible. Never blame yourself, but take pride in knowing your daughter left earth knowing you loved her. Kathy, you were her original best friend. You shared a secret bond with her, and she cherished that more than anything. She wanted to be like you in every way. She looked up to you as a mom, and loved how you were able to handle being everything to everyone. You were her inspiration and she knew she was your baby girl. She never feared anything, because she had to you. You are a great mother. Never regret anything. I know she never did. As far as her brothers, Stevie, you were her buddy, her little brother and she loved you so much. I know she liked to boss you around, but that’s what big sisters are for; she wanted nothing but the best for you, so never settle for anything less. Brian, you were her cool big bro. She was proud of you and understood you even when you may not have understood yourself. She loved you and wanted you to find your happiness. I am proud to know good people like you, because in a world like ours, good people are really hard to come by. So thank you for treating me like your own daughter, accepting me and welcoming me into your home. You have touched my life and changed it forever.
I made numerous promises to her on her deathbed that I intend to fulfill and carry out for the rest of my life. Today, with everyone present, I’d like to speak them aloud for everyone to hear. So again, this is for you, Michelle.
I love you and I will commit to keeping her memory alive as long as I live, to include you in as many conversations as I can, and keep your memory fresh in everyone’s mind in the years to come. I will be there for Ryleigh and love her as if she were my own. I will support her and teach her how to pick the right color foundation and shoes, let her know that at target everything is always way cheaper, and not allow her to date utill she’s 30. I promise to help your mom explain all the important things in life, such as keeping your word and protecting your reputation as a lady. I solemnly swear to tell her how amazing you were. I will share with her all my memories of you, and be like a second mom to her when she needs a piece of advice from someone who thinks a lot like her mama. I will tell her how beautiful you were inside and out, and how you never let others pettiness bring your spirit down. I will look after your parents as if they were my own, and include them in as many important milestones in my life as possible. I will keep Brian in check, and make sure Stephen marries a nice girl. I will protect your memory and reputation and keep in touch with the friends you cared so much for. I will cry harder, laugh harder and love harder, because I’ve learned that we are never promised tomorrow. I will continue to make music videos in my car, and someday share that special moment with your own daughter. I will continue to love you eternally and to you never strip you of the title “best friend.” As long as I’m living, I will make you proud and look to the heavens for my strength. Thank you for your friendship, for the bond, for the sisterhood we shared. I hope you know that I loved you in a special way that was very unique and different from everyone else. A piece of my heart will always be yours and until we reunite again, that piece will always be missing. I will do you justice and protect everything you loved, the same exact way you always defended and protected me. I wish you eternal happiness and peace, although I know it’s already yours. Give my love to my brother and my grandfather especially, I know they must’ve been anxious to finally meet you. You’re finally with your soulmate again, in the presence of angels, and Our heavenly father. I will never say goodbye to you Michelle; just see you later with a smile, because I know I still have my purpose here on earth still to fulfill.
Again, I say thank you best friend for everything. I will miss you and think of you everyday for the rest of my life. I love you with all my heart and soul
Michelle, always and forever.
Took a test online to see which of the 16 personalities I was, and found out I was a “Campaigner” better known as an “ENFP.” It was amazingly accurate and interesting all at the same time. It is psychology based and has been researched extensively throughout the years. I’ve had many of my family members and friends try it too. I find it incredibly insightful, as well as fascinating, because you’re learning and discovering new things about others, as well as yourself.
To find out your results just go to 16personalities.com
The purpose of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality inventory is to make the theory of psychological types described by C. G. Jung understandable and useful in people’s lives. The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment.
“Perception involves all the ways of becoming aware of things, people, happenings, or ideas. Judgment involves all the ways of coming to conclusions about what has been perceived. If people differ systematically in what they perceive and in how they reach conclusions, then it is only reasonable for them to differ correspondingly in their interests, reactions, values, motivations, and skills.”
In developing the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator [instrument], the aim of Isabel Briggs Myers, and her mother, Katharine Briggs, was to make the insights of type theory accessible to individuals and groups. They addressed the two related goals in the developments and application of the MBTI instrument:
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“Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.”
– Anais Nin, an ENFP
The lively and intellectual ENFP is one of the most exhilarating personalities to be around. They exude enthusiasm and are fueled by possibilities that inspire the world around them. They are agents for change, always seeking to improve the world and explore all it has to offer. ENFPs are driven to see the potential in everything; to see not what “is” but what “could be”. They live in a constant world of ideas, meanings and promise. To the ENFP the world is full of unending prospects and adventures; all must be explored and each day must count. The ENFP combines a thirst for discovery with a strong set of inner values that guides them in all their explorations.
If you know an ENFP, what you’ll see is their eye for possibility. Their dominant function, Extraverted Intuition, works like an idea-generating machine. They see potential everywhere and they feel compelled, almost irresistibly, to make their dreams a reality. ENFPs are the friends that will inspire you when you feel down, who will have the amazing “crazy” ideas that are just so unique they might actually work! They are wildly intellectual yet rarely arrogant. Famous ENFPs include Mark Twain, Anne Frank, Salvador Dali, and Ellen DeGeneres.
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Extraverted Intuition (Ne) is the dominant function of the ENFP and the ENTP. Ne-dominant personality types pour their energy and enthusiasm into their projects and ideas, seeing inspiration everywhere they go. They become absorbed by their visions of what could be, and this devotion to their ideas will pull them to any number of new experiences. They may forget to eat or sleep as they pursue their dreams and passions. At night as the lie in their beds, chances are their minds are filled with numerous options and ideas that beckon them to stay awake just a little longer.
While the life of an ENFP seems exciting and inspiring to many, they often struggle with maintaining their focus. Life calls to them at every possible turn, urging them to explore another angle, another rabbit-trail that can lead them to yet another new discovery. For this reason they often jump from project to project, idea to idea, and have to work with extra determination to complete projects they start. When they do achieve their dreams, they take their time to find creative improvements and novel flairs that make their works truly one-of-a-kind.
“Oh, it’s delightful to have ambitions. I’m so glad I have such a lot. And there never seems to be any end to them — that’s the best of it. Just as soon as you attain one ambition you see another one glittering higher up still. It does make life so interesting.”
– Anne Shirley, the beloved ENFP character from Anne of Green Gables
One of the best ways to understand Extraverted Intuition is to compare it to its alternative; Extraverted Sensing (Se). Extraverted Sensing is all about making the most of what “is”. It’s about enjoying the moment, living for the now, taking advantage of current opportunities. Se-users are concrete and practical, yet adventurous (a trait they share with Ne-users). Ne-users focus on what “could be”; they have less interest in “now” and more interest in what is yet to come. They focus on improving and innovating, with less interest on accepting things for what they are. They are adventurous, like Se-users, and often energetic, like Se-users, but their main focus is in tomorrow, in exploring the new, the never-before-explored. They dislike the practical and yearn for the undiscovered, the theoretical, the abstract, the “magical”. They are also quick to spot underlying meanings, themes, and patterns.
Characteristics of ENFPs:
– They are always aware of new possibilities
– They strive to live in accordance with an independent set of inner values
– They are extroverts, yet they crave autonomy and independence
– They are original and creative
– They tend to be impulsive
– They have an energy that carries them from project to project
– They are stimulated by challenges
– They are energetic and tireless in pursuit of their dreams
– They dislike routine and the mundane details of daily life
– They focus on the future
– They inspire the people around them to see things in a new and insightful way
– They are driven by their inspirations
The Neuroscience of Extraverted Intuition:
According to Dario Nardi, a UCLA professor and expert in the field of neuroscience, ENFPs use trans-contextual thinking. This is a process where the neocortex is highly active in many different regions, and each region is highly amplified and out-of-synch with the others. Each region is doing its own thing to generate a “surprise” result!
Nardi explains in his book Neuroscience of Personality: Brain Savvy Insights for All Types of People that most people, when they hear a common word like “dog” or “cat” evoke auditory or memory regions. The ENFP, in contrast, “gets busy using all regions to tap relationships across situations, perhaps suddenly imagining a story about two brothers, one of whom is faithful and sociable (like a dog) while the other is independent and quiet (like a cat). They might wonder about dog and cat writing styles too!”
Ne-types are rapidly creative, coming up with metaphors and out-of-the-box conclusions that are clever and often surprising! They have creative “highs” that push them to discover and pursue their passions and inspirations of the moment. Their brains are highly energetic and imaginative and the ENFP experiences “creative hangovers” when they wear themselves out by constantly using intense, fast-paced mental energy.
ENFP Intuition and Contradictions
ENFPs may seem like a bundle of contradictions to their loved ones. They are friendly yet autonomous. Socially aware yet prone to playing devil’s advocate. They can go from being the life of the party to a total bookworm. ENFPs are anything but simple and as a result they can be an enigma to the people who know them.
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ENFPs may seem on the outside to be full of liveliness and charm. They ARE these things, but they are much more than that. They crave intellectual discussion and feel bored and restless if they have to focus on small-talk, everyday banter, or superficial topics. Because they are extroverted and tend to be friendly many people will gravitate towards them, but this may result in the ENFP unwittingly being a part of discussions that don’t naturally stimulate their Ne-dominant mind.
In conversations where the focus is about practical realities or the day-to-day aspects of life, the ENFP can become bored and restless. If they can’t find imaginative, intellectual discussion with the people around them, they may revert more towards isolation and accessing their imagination through writing or reading on their own.
ENFPs love to be around people, but they don’t want to need people. They may spend weeks with a particular group of people, and then hitch a ride to the other side of the country because they need to explore something new and different. Their autonomy is very important to them and, as a result, they need to take breaks from routine regularly to explore a new part of life or a new environment.
From Class Clown to Devil’s Advocate
ENFPs are very socially aware and desire to connect with people, but they are also intensely independent and individualistic. They love to make people laugh or feel joy (think Robin Williams or Ellen Degeneres) but they also aren’t afraid to stand up for the unpopular opinion.
ENFPs see numerous angles to every statement, and as a result, ENFPs don’t like “blanket” statements or black and white rules. They may go from being the friendliest person in the crowd to the staunchest advocate against the status quo in the blink of an eye!
Too Many Ideas
Lastly, ENFPs are incredibly passionate and driven individuals. However, they have thousands of ideas that infiltrate their minds daily. They feel a simultaneous push and pull between exploring their passions and being distracted by new and different activities or theories. This process can make it hard for them to complete projects, and can get them mislabeled as “lazy” when they are anything but. ENFPs work tirelessly to explore their interests and make their ideas a reality…there are just so.many.ideas.
What to do about all the ideas? Some ENFPs schedule in “brainstorming/new idea” time with their work so they don’t get bogged down in work and then just cast it aside altogether. Some ENFPs project to the future of where they want to be and then use that as a motivator for getting something done now (i.e. “When I have a clean room I can brainstorm and create without feeling distracted by the state of my room”). Others play their favorite music while they clean or do a mundane activity so that they can let their mind wander and still be productive. At some point I want to write more about ENFPs and productivity, but I need to research more first.
Some Fun Facts About ENFPs:
– ENFPs are among the three highest on one measure of creativity.
– They are highly represented among third- to sixth-grade academically talented students.
– As teachers, they are less likely to see student behaviors as serious problems.
– In a national sample study on leisure activities, ENFPs were overrepresented in enjoying writing, appreciating art, playing musical instruments, listening to music, and reading.
– The most important features in an ideal job to ENFPs were creativity and originality.
These facts are taken from the MBTI® Manual – Third Edition.
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10 years without her beautiful smile, her infectious laughter and unforgettable hugs. The absence of her is still cripplingly painful and ever present for me. Like learning to live without a limb, I’m always aware of my loss and residual pain. I’ve learned to cope and accept her death but allowing myself to let go is another everyday choice and process.
You don’t “get over” the loss of a loved one, you simply learn to exist in spite of it. I will forever mourn what was, what is and what could have been.
I love you, Dymalski.
I still miss you, best friend.
“The secret to permanently breaking any bad habit is to love something greater than the habit.”…
…And I do. 😀
I may be biased but this girl is the shit!! She just so happens to be my baby sister, the youngest of our tribe of 6 siblings. This made me laugh so much and I know it will make you laugh too!
I love you Lauren Dee
24 things I learned in 24 years.
Birthdays often mean reflection time for me so I thought I’d share, here it goes! Also a pat on the back for keeping myself alive for another year. Cheers for being a quarter of a century old!
1. Don’t bite your finger nails. Even if you spit them out, seriously don’t do it. Some WILL escape into a really weird pocket in your esophagus and you will sound like a cat trying to cough up a furball. I’m like 3 days in right now and it scratches every time I swallow.
2. If your dog gets diarrhea on their dog bed, don’t just throw it in the washer. Take it outside and try to wipe the poop off it first. I made the mistake of not doing this and it took me like an hour to get all the poop particles out of the washer. My mom never found out… I don’t think.
3. Be patient when it comes to using medication. For example, ex-lax. Even if it never works when it says it’s going to on the packaging, don’t try to speed up the process by taking another. You’ll end up taking a nap and waking up to skid marks on your chonies.
4. Never underestimate anything. Refer to previous life lesson.
5. Contrary to popular belief, people older than you don’t have it all figured out. They may speak like they know what they’re talking about, but they mostly make it up just like you. Most of them are full of shit. That said, listen to their advice. There’s a lot of wisdom in that shit.
6. No one is invincible. Make sure you’re appreciating people while they’re still able to be appreciated.
7. Don’t follow the crowd just to fit in. Like figuratively or metaphorically. My first day of public school was in 8th grade and at the end of the day when everyone started walking home, I started following them because I’m an idiot. It was hot as balls, not to mention it took me forever to get home. My mom had a panic attack and I’m pretty sure my sister called the cops because they couldn’t find me. I never walked to or from school literally ever again. That shit is not cool, anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.
8. Do whatever makes you happy because no one is paying that much attention to you, they’re most likely checking their phones.
9. If you need more than 1 sock drawer, you have too many socks.
10. Don’t dye your hair at 3 am. You’ll fall asleep and wake up with like 3 hairs left on your head.
11. Disobeying your parents is okay sometimes if it’s for a good cause. Like throwing pillows and blankets out the window when your mom kicks your sister out.
12. Never try to be cute and smile with your mouth closed if you have braces. You’ll end up looking like a damn Muppet. Don’t believe me? Just ask to see my sister’s wedding pictures.
13. You can’t be friends with people that want to be you or that want your life. Yes, I’m talking about you! You know who you are and I know you’re reading this and I want my pink shirt back!
14. If you ever lock yourself out of your car, the pressure from a tennis ball on the key hole will NOT pop it open. Don’t let YouTube fool you. Do yourself a favor and just call a Lyft. Here’s a promo code for a free Spring Lyft ride: FASTRYDE. Thank me later.
15. Drink a butt load of water even when you don’t want to.
16. Don’t ever have children or pets if you don’t like being scratched. It’s a valuable thing to learn because it will scratch you. It’s lovely.
17. Don’t be scared or feel bad about requesting vacation time you’re entitled to at work. Other people will tell you the “right way to go about vacation time.” Those people are assholes. And if you’re in a job that doesn’t let you go on vacation, that job is stupid.
18. If a stranger ever asks you a question like your name and you don’t hear them or understand them for whatever reason, just tell them what time it is.
19. Never microwave Twix bars in hotel rooms. The smoke detectors WILL go off and your Twix will taste like a foot.
20. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. It’s the people that are happy all the time that you gotta watch out for.
21. Always remember that someone out there has it worse than you.
22. Be careful what you pray for.
23. A kitten can not live in your closet or hoodie pockets. They will out themselves by meowing around your anti-cat Mother and you will be forced to give it away.
24. When you find a blog you like (like this one) go out of your way to tell the person (genius) that writes it (me) how great (best thing in the entire world) it is. Share the content with your closest friends (the whole world). You may think you’re being stalkerish (you probably are), but if someone put something on the internet it most likely took some time and a lot of cajones (balls).
25. To be determined.